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We will be hosting a hands-on workshop to teach you how to negotiate your next pay raise!

Space is limited so sign-up soon!

de la Femme will be hosting our next event on Salary Negotiations on October 2, 2012.  The event will be hosted at the Broad Institute of MIT & Harvard located at  7 Cambridge Center, Cambridge, MA 02142 near Kendall MIT MBTA Redline T stop.  Our guest speaker, Sarah Cardozo Duncan, will be leading the workshop on salary negotiations.

Sign up here: Salary Negotiations

If you have ANY questions please send an email to [email protected]

The short answer – yes!

Well, first you should try to vet just how important are you to your company’s organization.  I came across this article today in Forbes  that helps career-oriented individuals to better understand what their true value is in the workplace, even in this economy.

This also brings up some issues regarding company’s training [or not] in the workplace environment.  I have often wondered why some institutions [think your top consulting firms] train every entrant; while many places have expectations that each new employee will automatically understand the flow and expectation of their now new employer.

If this article rings true to you — then look to join de la Femme’s next event on Salary Negotiations which is to be held at Nutter, McClennen, and Fish, LLP on October 2, 2012.

Well, today is Friday — and a short Friday nonetheless.  No career post today, but rather a post about women’s roles in society and how media and fairy tales play a role.

I mean, seriously, what lady doesn’t want her prince charming (tall, dark, and handsome) to show up just when she needs him and whisk her away from her real life and take her to land where everything is magical and perfect all. the. time. ??  I certainly do.  Well, at least some of the time.

What I really mean to say is – we have all seen this happen in the movies over and over and over again.  Boy meets Girl — they fall in love — Girl gets into trouble — Boy rescues Girl from said trouble — and then they ride off happily ever after into the sunset.  But why?  Why this cultural myth that women “need” to be saved?  Where did it come from?  Why does it even exist? If women are to be truly equal in society and careers, we must first understand how we got to be in that “second” positionfirst.  There are many different books or articles that touch on that including the book that I am currently reading called Sex at Dawn.

Maybe we cannot be truly equal in the workplace until we are just simply equal.  How do we get there?  Should we try to get there?  Can we even get there?  These are questions that have no answers, but I think by showing our daughters that women don’t need to be rescued, and to give them the skills that they need to support themselves — they will begin to reshape the societal bounds in which we currently exist.

Interestingly I was having a conversation with a mentor of mine and we were discussing “how women present themselves at work” — or rather, what is the “uniform” that you wear?  He shared a personal story of when he had encountered a religious leader during his undergraduate studies and had asked this person whether or not he feels like the leader of his Parish.  This man replied that he doesn’t always feel like he is, but it helps that he has a uniform to comfort his mind and those minds of his Parish.  My mentor shared this story with me because he felt that it also applies to the workplace.  He also shared that there was a colleague of his who misrepresented her abilities by dressing in revealing clothing to work.  She was, in the end, not wearing her “uniform.”

OK – Scream now!  All the frustration definitely floats to my face as I feel it going red when I hear these sorts of comments.  Women need to be “covered” so that men can concentrate?  We need to wear a “uniform” that makes us look like men?  Women need to “fit into” the male world?

However, after much reflection – the answer is yes.  Yes, we need to go to work in our “uniform.”  Today, in 2012 that “uniform” is a suit no matter which way we look at it.  In 2050 will it be a suit?  I hope not — I hope that my daughters will have created something more fun and stylish that is made for women, by women, and will become the “uniform.”  But until that happens it remains a suit — and in Boston that suit is black.

I would love to post that going to work naked but being a genius will land you that corner office, but it just will not.  The female body is a beautiful thing and sexual behavior (still hotly contested in an evolution context) is pervasive in our society.  Ladies, if you want to pick up a man- wear something sexy to the bar, restaurant, club, first date — and if you want that corner office rock up to work wearing your “uniform.”

Here are two similar articles that I drew my inspiration from that list some of the most common ways women sabotage their own career path: communication and lack of promotion.

Inspired by my own background, I wanted to pose this very straightforward question: Why are there so few women in science?

As a PhD student in immunology I really did not “see” the gender disparity – and it was not until I was faced with outright discrimination while pursuing more business ventures post-PhD that I realized that my gender did play a role in how people (especially men of power) viewed me.  However, in returning to my roots for my current paying position and having now several female colleagues and female leadership in my office – do I realize the potential that is lost with the lack of support of women in the scientific pipeline.

Today I had a lively discussion with a big wig at H.- and we discussed intimately the details by which women really struggle at my alma mater.  Even though women in science have made are leaps and bounds ahead of where they were 50 years ago – we are not quite there yet.  Following a disastrous presentation by then president at H.-, the lady professors began tracking these issues more intimately and in fact you can check out the stats yourself: Glimcher and Lieberman’s comments.

Interestingly the stereotype that women are not as capable as men in math and science continue to pervade our children’s thoughts.  A recent article in the NYT suggest that this “stereotype” threatens how we handle ourselves in the workplace – or in this case in our scientific careers.

As full disclosure, I walked away from science.  Although I can never be sure that the threat of such stereotypes didn’t play a role, there were many other compounding factors that helped me make the choice including the hostile academic environment, the press for funding, and the necessity of focus.  But who knows?  Perhaps it was because I felt that I had always been perceived as less capable?

Happy Friday Fembers — Next week I will be back on track with more detailed discussions on women and careers, but before I do –

I wanted to write a heart warming story about women who became business women in order to help support women in their community.  Kazuri beads [http://www.kazuri.com] were originally made by two Kenyan women in the town of Karen* [located just outside of Nairobi].  These handcrafted beads generated local employment for women and created beautiful jewlery pieces that is now desired worldwide [Kazuri in USA].  I know that I love my Kazuri beads that were purchased at the factory site!

Ladies, join the sisterhood — if we can’t help each other then who will?

*As a side note, the town of Karen was named after Karen Blixen the Danish author who wrote Out of Africa [which went on to be a movie starring Meryl Streep].  Just one more fact: For the film several typical safari animals were brought into Lake Naivasha and because of this you can actually walk up to these animals in absence of fear!

I remember reading an “Economist” review of her first book, which seemed a bit unfairly harsh: http://www.economist.com/node/13272034. It would be interesting to see in hindsight (now that the book is a few years old) how powerful it is for her message (even if it is a bit rehashed) to be coming from her, an African woman, rather than a Western white male. I suspect her messaging would be better received in Zambia than Paul Collier’s, but I wonder if there is any data to support that.

And she also wrote a recent op-ed in the NYTimes touching upon the subject of her new book: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/28/opinion/beijing-a-boon-for-africa.html/?_r=1.  Once again, it seems like she develops the counter-intuitive argument, although it also not without its critics:http://allafrica.com/stories/201207021611.html.

I know that this is supposed to be a week of women in Africa and the M.E. – but I can’t help myself.  Mr. Todd Akin’s comment on “legitimate rape” has been just to painful to hear as it has been repitively broadcast  through just about every medium.  And just in case you have no idea what I am talking about please check out this article: Todd Akin sticks his foot in his mouth.  

There is not much for me to say regarding these comments.  It remains unbelievable to me that nearly 4 decades after Roe v. Wade this “great” country spends vasts efforts (and dollars) on discussing abortion.  Why? Why is it that these old white men need to constantly tell women what to do with their bodies?  But the thing that is most intriguing to me is that they want to make it illegal to perform abortions but yet they set up NO institutions or financial support systems to help women carry the child to term.

Check out this great list that gives stats on rape in the US.  Sexual assault and rape are of serious concerns in the US and globally.  And sexual assault as we know doesn’t even begin to touch upon many women who lose their lives to sexual slavery and human trafficking.

I wanted to end this post with  an awesome letter written by the great Eve Ensler who wrote a very appropriate letter to Mr. Akin…

The Middle East is a beautiful place — truly unique desert landscapes that rise and fall as I imagine the moon must look.  It is also the heart of world’s three most prominent religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam .  It is also the home of constant conflict over natural resources (mostly water and oil), territories (think West Bank), and how to pray to God.

As is relevant to de la Femme – I found while abroad in the M.E. that as a Westerner it is totally and utterly shocking to see how differently women are treated in Arab nations.  Is it the religion or the culture that leads to such oppression or rather ‘regulation of’ women [ Zohra Sarwari]?  Personal experiences derived from discussing with men in Jordan, (Muslim women were no where to be found) gave me the insight that women today are still very much treated like property.  To the point that it remains completely legal to kill your wife (sister or mother) or perhaps stone them [views of harsh punishment in the M.E.] for infidelity?

But – the real reason why I wanted to begin a discussion on women of the M.E. is because of two recent news articles that I came across.  The first was reporting on Saudi TV during the holy month of Ramadan (which just ended so Eid Mubarak!) [NYTimes: Saudi TV].  In this article it discusses how Muslim women are exposed to Western women and yet do not even have the power or the choice to drive a car (that is correct ladies — no driving) – to work – or to wear clothes that express who they are as women! [Full disclosure, as far as I understand the hijab is out of respect for the Islam religion, and many women are happy to wear them – but what about the niqab or the burqa?].  And are women really making these choices or are the imposed upon them by their fathers, brothers, and husbands?

The second article I actually came across because of it being mentioned on NPR this morning.  It is about how there will be a government trial in Pakistan to determine whether an 11 year old girl [who is presumed to have downs syndrome] will be stoned to death after accidentally burning papers that were a portion of the Quran.  Full article.   There are very little words for me to say here — other than this is absolutely devastating.  A book – even the book of God – has now trumped the life of a woman [although I am sure it is not the first].  The second thought that I have – would it be the same if it were a little boy?  Perhaps the laws would bend more easily with a penis?

Although there are so many aspects of women in Africa that we should discuss, I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss an amazing African women who is now gaining the ears of Westerners with her latest book: Winner Takes All.  Dambisa Moyo [dambisamoyo.com].

Dambisa is a women after my own heart.  Born and raised in Lusaka, Zambia [https://maps.google.com/maps?q=lusaka+zambia+map&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x1940f37d3cbcaa49:0xd0d093c1462013eb,Lusaka,+Zambia&gl=us&ei=eFsyUIaEC-Hw0gGx04GwBQ&ved=0CAkQ8gEwAA] she paved her way with an extraordinary education spanning the US and the UK.

Dambisa has authored several books including “Dead Aid” and more recently  “Winner Takes All.”  Dead Aid focuses on how external aid efforts are affecting African economics and how we could be inhibiting African growth through our “humanitarian efforts.”  Winner Takes All offers a compelling look at how China is slowly but surely buying rights to an extensive amount of commodities.  This will allow for a stronger hold by China on our entire world.

Africa is an important place for everyone — the amount of natural resources that remain untapped on the continent are vast, maybe even perhaps greater than we can envision today.  It is important that we as Americans understand what is at stake and take steps to empower the native people in a way that helps everyone (think the Tragedy of the Commons: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~rdeyoung/tragedy.html) — and perhaps if we don’t China will end up pushing everyone – native or otherwise – out of the way and will ultimately land too much control.

Thanks to a great African woman — the world now can have a clearer vision of what is at stake for our global economy.

Comment from Dr. Martin Samuels:

Speaking of Ellen Sirleaf, there was an incredible women’s movement, uniting both Christian and Muslim women, that helped lead to Charles Taylor’s ousting in Liberia. Leymah Gbowee led an abstinence movement (“No peace, no sex”) despite incredible odds and threats of violence. I first heard about it on Bill Moyers’ Journal: http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/06192009/profile.html. Her work in Liberia was captured in the movie “Pray the Devil Back to Hell”: http://praythedevilbacktohell.com/. She is now heading up a new women’s peace initiative in Africa: http://www.wipsen-africa.org/wipsen/

Now that I am starting to migrate to this new writing forum — please  bare with me as I am not exactly tech savvy… yet!

The next several posts will be based on Women in Africa and the Middle East.  These posts are inspired by my travels abroad and my love for the continent of Africa and the very diverse nature of its landscapes and people.

Women of the continent of Africa suffer much more than our own basic career challenges — salary negotiation means very little in a place where where there are no careers other than to survive.  Although, there are several ongoing efforts to help protect young girls from HIV infection and becoming pregnant too soon [http://www.girleffect.org/question] – there is little information on the issues that women face and how they are fighting for change in their countries.  These are very serious issues and ones that we, as women in the Western world, need to be aware of and to help to take steps to alleviate the pain and suffering of women globally.

Recently, a friend of mine passed along this article to me: http://latitude.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/10/african-states-ahead-of-the-west-in-female-political-representation/.  It is interesting because we are starting to see a shift in leadership in developing countries.

This article discusses how many African nations are now promoting women into office.  But does women leadership outweigh the difficulties that these nations face?  Ellen Sirleaf, decidedly an idol of mine since I heard her speak at Harvard’s 2011 commencement, is a graduate of the Kennedy School and is the first female president of Liberia.  She now has won her second election — but what is going on in her country?  Is she really doing justice for her people?  http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/international/countriesandterritories/liberia/index.html

However, there is hope that women can transform their countries – and we should note how they do it and why it works.  In Senegal it is now suggested that female representation in the government should become approximately 23%.   Women in Senegal have been working hard – both for themselves and for their country.  The Senegalese women, like many of their African country-women, suffered from female genital mutilation.  FGM is a terrible practice by which young girls have their clitoris and other genitalia removed.  In 1999, Senegal made FGM illegal [http://web.archive.org/web/20080112051855/http://www.state.gov/g/wi/rls/rep/crfgm/10107.htm] and although some rural tribes still practice FGM women are taking a stand [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/world/africa/movement-to-end-genital-cutting-spreads-in-senegal.html?pagewanted=all].  Perhaps as leaders, women can begin to challenge both the cultural norms of their African nations and give the new generation of women a better life than they had?