Just today I was checking in with a blogger with whom I have mixed emotions, Penolope Trunk. I originally liked Penelope Trunk’s advice, and sometimes I still do, but more and more I find that I do not necessarily agree. [This is not to say that she is bad, in fact, her command of the English language is very much appreciated.] Regardless, she had posted a recent blog article on the connection between March madness and workplace issues, including the wage gap and issues related to women. In her post she cited an article that has since been removed, but I was able to recover from the Princetonian.
A alumna from 1977, Susan A. Patton, wrote a letter that encouraged young women to get married (and select from) their Princeton-attending male peers. My first thought was defensive and quite honestly disgusted; however, she does make a fair point. Generally speaking if your priority in life is to marry an ivy league counterpart and produce ivy league children — then YES! by all means should you select in college. But like all decisions, there are consequences and I just wanted to list a few of the things that come to mind for me:
1. Not knowing yourself
2. Not enjoying multiple sexual partners
3. Not prioritizing your career or pursuing your interests in your own time
4. Not having the opportunity to live out your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s… etc. in a fashion that is your choice
There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting married young (or old) or having children (or not) at any age as long as you are doing what you think you want and living the life that you would like to live (without hurting others). As you can imagine I did not opt to marry my high school/college sweetheart. We both had a lot of “growing up to do” that required our separation. Because I walked away from that relationship, I have enjoyed learning about me, traveling extensively, learning how to pick great friends, lovers, and overall how to be a better partner, teammate, and friend. I have enjoyed learning what it means to be on your own and independent. I have learned the kindness of strangers and I have gotten to live all over the world, just like I had imagined as a little girl. Because I didn’t opt to be second to another’s life when I was younger “just because there were more to choose from” I have had the pleasure of learning how to live with myself everyday until I no longer live on this earth.
Being a woman is a tough job and there is no right way to do it. DLF advocates for helping women at all stages and throughout all decisions that each woman will face throughout their lives and careers!
