Recently I had the good fortune of visiting my boyfriend’s eldest sister and her family. Other than having a lovely little boy (aged 2), her and her husband were both professionals who worked in the government and shared parental care during the week equally (well, nearly). Basic breakdown of schedule: Monday and Tuesday, mom and dad went work and son went to daycare where Grandmom and Grandpop picked him up in the afternoons for a little play-time. Wednesday, dad stayed home and even prepared dinner while mom went to work and put in extra hours. Thursday and Friday, mom stayed home for some one-on-one time. Both mom and dad worked hard to build their careers and their family as equal partners.
This was both amazing to me and perplexing. Although I have seen other marriages/partnerships with somewhat equal duties, none to this extent. Even in my own family, my mother carried the burden of cooking dinner every night, laundry, managing my brother and me, AND working hard in her profession as a guidance councilor. Did my father do nothing? No, he was great at so many things, but he was not the primary parent when it came to doing basic home “things.” I thought about this for a long time — how I will I manage parenting and partnership? How will I build a career, partnership, and a family?
The first thing I want to note is that Australia generally allows for more egalitarian parenting with the laws that are currently in place. Most of these laws are not in place in the US. Check out this great article in the NY times that discusses this in great detail here. With that said, I want to know how we expect to move forward if these laws do not change? How will we move forward in the US? How will we make it possible for our little girls to grow up knowing that they don’t need to be supermom and have a high powered career AND that their male partners will know how to step up to that challenge of being truly equal in their parenting? How will we make all of this possible?
These are important questions that I continuously spend time trying to know how I will help make it possible for little girls to grow up as true equals. How will I do it personally, …professionally? How will I contribute on a global scale? What do you think?
